(Written October 20, 2009)
Its been about 2 weeks since my papa has passed away. He was my biggest hero! Me and him had a very very close bond together and I have always looked up to him! I am going to miss him so much! I remember him telling me “I just wanna live to see you graduate!”. Well I’m still only a Jr. in High school but I think papa has lived through a lot of my accomplishments and he was very proud of me he always told me. A few things I really am going to miss about him are:
– Him calling me on a lot of mornings before school.
– Watching the football games, baseball games, wrestling and hockey with him
-Listening to all his stories about him working on the railroad, getting attacked by pigs as a kid, or how much he won at the casino! haha ;)
-walking around the mall with him having to stop and talk to about 40 different people
-Him showing random people all my baby pictures (as embarrassing as that was)
-Him continually telling me to become a nurse (even though he knows i have a low tolerance for gross things)
-His happy smile
-His jokes (even if they were inappropriate or made grandma mad)
-Getting hot dogs at gas stations
-Eating really bad food with him
-Taking walks on the beach in Florida
There are so many memories of my papa that I’m going to miss. One thing I wanted more than anything is for my papa to approve of whom ever I am going to marry! He was always telling me to “watch out for them boys!” I know my papa is in heaven as I made sure of it a few nights before he died and I know that he is watching over me along with God as I go through this difficult time in my life, and he is up there saying what he would always tell me “It will all come out in the wash” those words really did mean alot to me because it always made me feel just a little bit more better.
My favorite memory I have with him though is 3 weeks ago when i went out to Michigan knowing that would be the last time i would ever see my papa again and sitting on the bed with him and he asked me to call him “papa” one more time and he told me he loved me and held my hand. My last hug that I gave my papa was probably the hardest thing I ever had to do, I knew he truly loved me because with how weak and frail he was and he still gave me one of his big bear hugs. In my life I always make sure that the last thing I say to the people I love are “I love you” because I always want those to be the last words someone will hear me say to them, I remember right as I was getting ready to leave I ran back to his room and told him I loved him and that was the last thing I told papa. I was upset I could not go back for his funeral but I know that he would have wanted what was best for me.
A Bible verse I recently have really clung to is Jeremiah 29:11-14 it reads:
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”
Thank you all for supporting our family through these hard times.